She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
