I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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