K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
