exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
