It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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