Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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