i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
farters have to be the big spoon...
she smelled like a LAN party
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
