Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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