how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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