capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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