How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
