There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
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