If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
