You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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