the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
