I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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