yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
