Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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