I think I am morally bankrupt
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
