how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
