I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
