my sisters under your porch take her home
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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