You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
