I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
