Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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