she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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