Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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