Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
