i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
