AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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