It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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