So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
