His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize