I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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