After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
