Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize