I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
there is puke in my bra ... again
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
