I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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