My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
