it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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