it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
