New invention idea: vibrating tampons
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
