i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
