I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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