girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
