And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize