I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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