I love black thongs
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
