Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
