I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
