No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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