please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
