Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I DEMAND FORESKIN
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
