if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
