You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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