would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
