Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
