Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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