Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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