Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
